I now recognize that thing the 'midlife crisis' I've heard about; but it isn't so much a crisis as it is a fog. A midlife fog is more like it. You start to look around at where you are and out from there and question what your next step should be. What do you really want to see when you look out and when you look in the mirror? What do you want to spend your time doing, or learning, or watching and why. I guess this fog can happen at any age, but for me it has come at a time when my children have moved out; when I can see a hill in the distance (15 years) that looks like retirement or at least a later start and earlier finish to my monday through fridays; when our life does not look at all like I pictured it a year ago in pre-accident time (more about that another time) and when my body and mind are fighting each other - menopause.
Today I almost wore red shoes with my black dress - but ultimately went with the black shoes.
This past week I almost bought a yellow 1970's love seat from the salvation army store - I hope it is still there this weekend - if so, it is so mine! I went to a women's' networking meeting tonight. This weekend I am going to meet a stranger who found my "chapter"on MaryJanes Farm (I am the only member of my chapter "Urban Girls" to date). I went out until 11:30 p.m. on St. Patricks day - I never stay up that late and I sure don't go to work the next day if I do - but I did.
I'm looking at my life, taking notice of what I am doing and the choices I am making and I am making some changes - one day, one person, one pair of shoes at a time. Its' about the journey through the fog - its' not about getting to the other side.
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