1st CAMPFIRE - Blazingly Beautiful!

You never know what it is that you teach your kids. You know what you think you are teaching them. The glorious surprise you get when they are grown and living in their own home and you can sit as a guest on the furniture they moved with them is about the best miracle gift next to having become their parents. My son and his girl had their first campfire last night and we were invited. It was supposed to have been the night before, but the first day of spring rain pushed the event to the gloriously beautiful 2nd day of spring.

The week before we were helping him set up his new washing machine (which he researched and bought on his own - which is so much a bigger purchase than expensive tequila or a new cat toy for Crush their kitten) and Rodney (my husband - his dad) was lamenting that he should have shown and taught him more house-tool-car-fixit kind of stuff.

Sitting at his campfire we learned something about what we really taught him. He and Nikki had gone grocery shopping, $100 each and he was telling us about the chicken they bought - with pride. Grocery shopping was a family event for us - still is. We liked roaming the isles, finding new things and buying more than we would use. Later shopping trips would have Mic lecturing us on the necessity of organic - he would be proud to know that we have adopted much of what he taught us.

Mic asked if we had seen Crush and his new toys. I love his cat Crush. We have had pets - furry family members really - since before Mic and his sister Chrissy were born. There are family pictures with all of them and we have the backyard cemetery for the gerbils, iguana and fish and the boxes of remains of cats and dogs.

Earlier in the day he wanted a rake. I know I had not taught him to rake, but I raked, and we jumped in leaves and made a path to the front door with leaves at Halloween.

So the first clear, warmish 2nd day of spring he throws a campfire. He stacks the wood, clears the fire pit and places logs for sitting around it. When we arrive the fire is perfect. It is beautiful. His friends are there, his girl next to him, his sister and brother-in-law and us - Mom and Dad.

Here's what we really taught him - grocery shopping is family fun, a big yard is a necessity, your friends will be there, cats and dogs are family, campfires are blazingly beautiful. We went home at a parent appropriate hour, proud and happy. We did good. Kids really just need you to love them, love yourself, love your everyday life....and when they grow up, they will too.

I BOUGHT THE YELLOW COUCH!

50 Bucks at the Salvation Army thrift store and it is mine! I'm not sure why this yellow sofa puts a smile on my face - I know that if something does that for you, well then, you need to bring it in to your like. This sofa was probably made and purchased new in the year I was born. So consider this - who was the woman in 1973 who had such a spirit that she went for the yellow loveseat with maple accents on the back and arms? Yellow says alive...happy....play.....uplifting...joy. My favorite flower is a yellow rose. I bought a yellow vintage necklace on ebay. The house I built was yellow. I'm thinking that when I crave yellow or gravitate towards yellow, I am trying to bring those things in to my life. And that is why this sofa puts a smile on my face - I need what it brings to me. I cannot wait to sit on it and soak up the color.

Finding My Center - Living My Life

I now recognize that thing the 'midlife crisis' I've heard about; but it isn't so much a crisis as it is a fog. A midlife fog is more like it. You start to look around at where you are and out from there and question what your next step should be. What do you really want to see when you look out and when you look in the mirror? What do you want to spend your time doing, or learning, or watching and why. I guess this fog can happen at any age, but for me it has come at a time when my children have moved out; when I can see a hill in the distance (15 years) that looks like retirement or at least a later start and earlier finish to my monday through fridays; when our life does not look at all like I pictured it a year ago in pre-accident time (more about that another time) and when my body and mind are fighting each other - menopause.

Today I almost wore red shoes with my black dress - but ultimately went with the black shoes.
This past week I almost bought a yellow 1970's love seat from the salvation army store - I hope it is still there this weekend - if so, it is so mine! I went to a women's' networking meeting tonight. This weekend I am going to meet a stranger who found my "chapter"on MaryJanes Farm (I am the only member of my chapter "Urban Girls" to date). I went out until 11:30 p.m. on St. Patricks day - I never stay up that late and I sure don't go to work the next day if I do - but I did.

I'm looking at my life, taking notice of what I am doing and the choices I am making and I am making some changes - one day, one person, one pair of shoes at a time. Its' about the journey through the fog - its' not about getting to the other side.

Happy Blog Birth Day!

Well, it only took about 3 hours to give birth to this blog. Childbirth took longer, as I remember it, but I felt like I knew what I was doing then. I'm fay - I'm fifty - and most days I feel pretty fabulous - in between hot flashes, cravings carbs and cleaning an empty nest. I decided I needed to put some energy out into the world to share what I have and maybe get some back. It felt good to finish a project - not one of my strengths. I'm more of an idea kind of a gal - a martha-oprah-julia cameron wanna be. I dream of making it, saying it and writing it all the time and instead I take a nap. Not This Time Betty! Welcome to Fayland! Here's to the ride and glide into the next fifty years!