Attitude, Attitude, Attitude!

The last few days and nights have been tough. The most peaceful place, unlikely as it seems, has been work. At work I just work. Nothing creeps in. I check off the to-do list on my desk calendar and at the end of the day I leave. Simple as that.

Home has not been as peaceful. Monday - the house is a mess. I was in and out and gone all weekend at a professional convention.It was a positive and energizing time; but, I had left piles of clothes and shoes and papers on top of the weekly dust and grime. So I cleaned. 3 hours of angry cleaning.
Tuesday - feeling a tiny bit better, but I pass a mirror and see the really fat person I have ballooned to this past year. I write out Easter cards to family and friends. By 10 I am in bed crying and sad and lonely. Very lonely. Wednesday - it is still early. I am not as sad. I am still fat. And I am really tired from the stress of the last couple days.

So on my bus trip to work this morning I decided that since I can't drop 60 pounds overnight, can't clean the house, tidy the yard, do the laundry, read all the unfinished books and write the letters I want all in a few hours after a day at work....I can consider my attitude. My attitude might just be the friend that makes me a little less lonely, gives me a shot of encouragement and a window of hope.

So I am going to start with my attitude. First, not going to say anything negative about my husband. Second, not going to say anything negative about my self (that will be harder). Third, I am going to take some time to contemplate and consider and dream of what it is that I want for this life while appreciating the life I have at this moment.

We will see if I can let attitude help me out of the sad that I find myself in and out of too often.